A Drunk Skeleton
The party decided to investigate the rectangular stone building next to the stables. Upon entering, it became clear the building was a barracks of sorts. Just inside the door was an open eating area with a bar and large fireplace. To the right were two doors, one was open and connected to some sleeping quarters with bunks and chests, the other was a thick metal door that was locked.
The most noticeable thing in the barracks was a well dressed skeleton drinking at the bar. It was in a captain’s attire with an eye patch and drinking a cup of what appeared to be liquid fire. One-Eye and Sal walked up, put down money on the bar (Sal was broke and used a button instead), and called for a drink. After no answer they introduced themselves to the skeleton and quickly realized it only answered in nods (or shrugs). One-Eye inquired about losing an eye to which the skeleton replied with a sad nod yes. While Sal, Valanthradil, and Noone continued “conversing” with the skeleton, One-Eye went off to inspect the sleeping area.
A Dust Up
After a thorough search of the sleeping quarters, One-Eye brought back some dusty old rags to Valanthradil. He told him to hang on to them because they were magic and important. One-Eye then tested the other larger metal door to find it was locked. He spent some time to pick it and managed to unlock it after a couple attempts. Inside he looked around to see a small storeroom with weapons and a suit of armor on a stand. Valanthradil joined him and started examining some bows on a rack. All the weapons looked to be in decent condition, but standard issue quality. In between questions, Noone called into the room that she bet the suit of armor was not alive. While Valanthradil was contemplating the situation, One-Eye picked up a helmet resting on one of the racks. Immediately after, the armor slowly ground into motion with a loud grating sound and raised its sword into a ready stance.
One-Eye and Valanthradil were surprised, and even though the armor was slow to ready its sword, it managed to attack first. It swung a sweeping strike at One-Eye, but he managed to dodge just in time. Hearing the commotion, Noone asked what was going on and saw the animated armor attacking One-Eye. She asked the skeleton if they could appease the magical armor to which he shook his head no. One-Eye backed out of the room while Valanthradil made a solid hit with his longbow. The armor was not slowed though, and walked right up to Valanthradil and ran him straight through!
Sal saw the whole ordeal unfold and ran up to throw a flask of acid onto the armor. It took a direct hit and the acid started eating through the armor. With the armor stumbling around and corroding, One-Eye dragged the dying Valanthradil clear of the door and tried to slam it shut. The armor recovered and starts pushing back while Sal joined One-Eye in pushing it closed. While they struggle against the armor, Noone jumped out from behind the bar and healed Valanthradil, saving him from certain death.
The armor managed to overpower Sal and One-Eye and break out into the main room. Sal, still stricken with wobbly legs, backpedaled out of the way and then asked the skeleton if it knew how to cure his condition to which it shook its head no. One-Eye sized up the armor and lunged at it with both his punching daggers and managed to rough it up a bit. While Valanthradil crawled away after recovering, Noone reached out and touched the armor to cast inflict wounds which caused it to topple over.
Noone asked the skeleton if the party can take some of the weapons to which he shrugged yes. Noone wanted to know if anyone would get angry at them and the skeleton pointed at the sprawled suit of armor on the ground. The party then took a short break and continued to grill the skeleton with hundreds of questions. At various times they stopped and wondered why they were even here, but then shrugged and continued the relentless questioning. Here is a brief summary:
Questions to which the answer was a nod yes
- Are you from this world?
- Did you choose to come here?
- Did the humans that used to live here die?
- Do you want more fiery beer?
- Do you know what the fiery beer is made of?
- Is Captain Breaker still around?
- Does the woman own the bird? (In reference to the picture he drew, see below)
- Is the guy with the sword in the picture you?
Questions to which the answer was a nod no
- Are there any humans inside the keep?
- Do you want to join our party and avenge the deaths of those who used to live here?
- Is there an undead sorceror or something inside the keep?
- Is the fiery beer your soul in liquid form?
- Is there more fiery beer in the keep?
- Will the Admiral’s ghost come back and help us?
- “English motherfucker, do you speak it?”
- Is the woman in the castle? (in reference to the picture he drew, see below)
- Would you like to help us?
- Would you protect us from Captain Breaker?
Questions to which the answer was a shrug
- Are you looking for work?
- Interested in working on a boat?
- Could Captain Breaker kill us?
- Would you help us if we got you the fiery drink?
Questions to which the answer was a pelvic thrust
- How are babies made?
Sal decided to hand the skeleton paper and some charcoal. Fascinated by the fiery brew (which the skeleton wouldn’t share) Sal asked the skeleton to draw the ingredients. What followed was a crudely drawn picture of a stick figure with a sword and a hat (much like the skeleton’s) being handed a jug from a well endowed female with a bird in the background. One-Eye asked him to sign the drawing and he did so with the name “Grimshaw McDivitz”. Noone asked if the bird was a raven (thinking of their recent encounter with Griddle) but the skeleton shook his head no.